Holiday Eating Tips

This was emailed to me by Antionette's brother, Ramo. I enjoyed it and thought I'd share it with yinz.

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies - Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great holiday season!

Brian

How Bout Them Stillers?

What a fricken game! I just got done watchin the Steelers beat the Ravens and win the division championship and a first round bye. What a game! Fantastic finish and a great defensive matchup. The Steelers got it done when they needed to. Just like the Christmas party at the Irwin Eagles. We got it done when we needed to. Despite fighting a bad cold, I was able to put forth a respectable vocal performance although the cold did get the better of my equilibrium and I almost fell into Frank on the very first song. How embarassing! For those of you who don't know by now, I don't drink or do illegal drugs anymore so the thought that my balance was affected by other influences would be incorrect. I do on rare occasion enjoy a sip or two of Old No. 7, but I usually only enjoy that in front of a bonfire at home when I don't have to worry about anything like travelling. The guys sounded incredible last night and a good time was had by all. A relatively small but enthusiastically appreciative crowd enjoyed the show and the 8 - 12 show meant that we could all come home and be with our families a litttle sooner. Hopefully we can get the original material recorded over the holiday break and get this record deal thing squared away. We have two weeks off although we are presently trying to negotiate a New Years Eve gig. For those of you who aren't aware, I was making $600 vs. 90% of the door minimum almost 25 years ago in night clubs when things were alot less expensive. Today a good working band is making around 25% less than that because of the DUI laws and DJ's and karaoke. This is honestly one of the best and most talented groups of guys I've had the priviledge of playing with and the declining of both revenue and audience numbers are hard to understand. Its not just southern rock that we are representing, but classic rock, and live music. And that makes our form of entertainment special (yeah yeah, never start a sentence with a preposition......lighten up already). It is those people who get excited, follow the band and get to know the players who are going to benefit if this thing goes global as I hope it will. This is why we name names in this blog. While we love all of the people who come and interact with us, there is something to be said for the regulars. Not just the wives and girlfriends, but Kathy and John, Bill, John (a different John) and all of those people whose faces we recognize but names we may forget. When this band hits the big money circuit, it is you who will be rewarded with access, tickets and whatever else we can think of to thank you for being loyal from the start. In case I get tied up, or the family is using this $1500 deck of cards preventing me from posting something soon, have a safe and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. A great crowd makes it all worth while. Thanks for your support in 2008. Look forward to entertaining you in 2009! God Bless Us everyone

Irwin Eagles Aerie 1671

Great time last night at the Eagles Christmas party. Everyone in the band did a nice job. I got the lyrics right on "Copperhead Road" and Rick remembered to turn his mic on before he started singing! (I knew it would happen!) It was great to see a lot of my friends there. The crowd was very responsive and appreciative. Many had been there all day (the party started at 3:00pm) and you could see that some were a tad partied out. Special thanks to Lori Hohman (Ladies Auxiliary President) for the food spread and Dave Rae (Past Worthy President and Trustee) for booking us there and actually moving their Christmas party so that we could play there for it. (The party was originally scheduled for next week, but, we were already booked in Ellwood City.) Everyone had a great time and we are looking forward to playing there again on January 10th.

Brian

Hot Damn! I'm Back!

Sorry Brian for leaving you with the blogging duties. Hopefully we can educate Frankenmoe (no thats not some creation from a Mary Shelley novel, although Frank and Moe are monster guitarists) on how to post a blog so people can get to know them too! But I couldn't have put it any better than what Brian posted. And YES!... the day he gets Copperhead Road right, maybe i'll remember to turn on the fricken microphone so the crowd can hear the opening vocals on my songs. Unfortunately, I seem to have caught that ferocious cold that's going around and hope it doesn't affect the show at the Irwin Eagles this week. The greatest band nobody has heard AND the greatest blog nobody has read...... YET! Still working on that record deal thing between LA & Nashville. Just got to get the time to re-record some of the original material. We also have a plan to incorporate new material into the set list so y'all don't get tired of hearing the same stuff week in and week out. We're trying not to take some time off to do that but it may be unavoidable. Great to add my 2 cents worth again.

Fire destroys "Duffy's Saloon"

Sadly, fire has destroyed "Duffy's Saloon" in Mt. Pleasant, PA this morning. Thankfully, no one was hurt in the mishap. We had a good time playing there, due mostly to Carol and the fine staff that was employed there. We sincerely wish them all luck in finding new employment in this trying economy.

Brian

Wampum, PA - Yee Haawww!

What a great time! Birthdays out the wahzoo and nuthin' but a PARTY! The band sounded great again (as usual) and the staff at the "Paramount" cafe was nothing short of outstanding. Special thanks to Nancy, Judy and Doobie for making sure that no one went thirsty. Great people and service with a smile. The crowd was great, as well. It's quite a pleasure to play to a crowd that appreciates our music. Hope to see you all again real soon.

Brian